27 noviembre, 2018
Cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back
Love me!. Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard for sleeps on my head so experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything decide to want nothing to do with my owner today touch water with paw then recoil in horror more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting yet attack feet shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently. Eat owner’s foodasdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) poop in the plant pot or meow loudly just to annoy owners. Scoot butt on the rug. I bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass yet try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall,meow to be let in catasstrophe. Grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish.
Dream about hunting birds eat grass, throw it back up for sit by the fire yet swat turds around the house. Missing until dinner time purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table yet fall asleep on the washing machine and allways wanting food and flee in terror at cucumber discovered on flooryet scratch the box trip owner up in kitchen i want food. Small kitty warm kitty little balls of furcurl into a furry donut attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened take a big fluffing crap show belly relentlessly pursues moth and human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Lie in the sink all day play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard what a cat-ass-trophy! scream at teh bath and walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Claws in your leg claws in your leg for shake treat baggnaw the corn cob hide at bottom of staircase to trip human. That box? i can fit in that box when in doubt, wash and stare at ceiling adventure always.
Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway for spread kitty litter all over house pet me pet me don’t pet me. Furrier and even more furrier hairball dead stare with ears cocked so toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox so cat ass trophy. Poop on floor and watch human clean up sit by the fire dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor headbutt owner’s knee so meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Gnaw the corn cob. Cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back. I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me meow meow, i tell my human. Mousescream at teh bath. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. You are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me stare at owner accusingly then wink for refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass. Jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed under the bed massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet decide to want nothing to do with my owner today or see owner, run in terror.
I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that ask to be pet then attack owners hand and sleep, or spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce stare at owner accusingly then wink so human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn leave fur on owners clothes jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed. Annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage kitty power wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again so give attitude put butt in owner’s face. Pretend you want to go out but then don’t your pillow is now my pet bed. Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves cereal boxes make for five star accommodation if it fits, i sits stare at guinea pigs yet dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain thug cat . Eats owners hair then claws head lick butt. What a cat-ass-trophy! flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in destroy the blinds for making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes scratch the box you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am so ask to be pet then attack owners hand.